


Study buddies

by LongConvolutedSimiles



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - High School, Fluff, HS, Kissing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-27
Updated: 2016-12-18
Packaged: 2018-02-27 06:22:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2682371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LongConvolutedSimiles/pseuds/LongConvolutedSimiles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel helps Dean study for upcoming exams, Dean helps Castiel with an essay, fluff ensues</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Beginnings

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first try at writing fan fiction, just thought I'd try something simple.  
> Really cheesy and there may be one or two mistakes... sorry.  
> 

It was still dark when Castiel woke up. He was partially to blame, but it was winter; and Castiel would have argued that if it's dark at 6:00 in the _morning_ it's not exactly his fault; but as much as he would have fought for himself with that point, it still felt very much like the middle of the night to him.

 _Too dark to get up, too dark to do work, you should go back to sleep_ his brain told him over and over again, like a broken record. He imagined his thoughts spinning around, cracked and jumbled, barely keeping themselves together, it was how his brain had been for the past two weeks.

Castiel didn't want to leave the covers, the warm soft feeling that was much less comfortable 6 hours ago, but 6 hours ago was a haze to him now, studying and typing had wiped him out, his brain felt saturated, completely incapable of taking in any more information, everything he read went in and came straight back out, his only thoughts were about sleep and about bed, the wondrous thing, why had he not appreciated it before, why had he not appreciated every second he had in it, because now he had to leave it, and his brain was still on repeat _too dark, too dark, back to sleep._

Castiel's head began to clear, metaphorical fog seeped out of his ears, his broken record brain started mending itself, every thought he'd been dreading the night before coming back to him. Today was algebra day, and then dreaded history, why had he always loved history so much, it's so boring, and the dates, _the dates_ , so many goddamn dates, Castiel had already started the basics, the first things he'd learned, the simple stuff, that was only simple when you looked back, but had been incredibly perplexing when you first learned it.

He had decided, after many days of 'accidental sleeping in' that the best thing to do was to get out of bed in one swift motion, and once he'd convinced himself, he pulled the duvet across him and hopped out of the bed, groaning as all the warmth in his body was leeched outwards, and he grabbed the small blanket on the top of his bed and dragged it across himself, soothing his goosebumps as he trudged to the bathroom.

***

Ten minutes later, Castiel was downstairs, making coffee, bag packed and three layers of clothing on. He'd brought a few books other than his history and maths, because he knew how weak he was, no sense in denying it, at least if he abandoned his schedule for the day he could study for something else, he was sure he'd have better luck sticking to the awful stuff an hour before the exams anyway.

Castiel had a week left, which meant when he did finally start his exams he would have two weeks of studying under his belt; 6:30 am to 8:30 pm in the library on weekends, and 4:30 to 8:30 on week days in his room with 5 minute breaks every half hour . That left 8:30 to whenever he couldn't write any more to do his already late English project, he had luckily been given an extension to the day before exams because he'd been out of school almost all month with an ill mother. He'd realised when he got back to school that he really didn't want anything but an A for every subject and if he didn't get it he was going to punch something, or someone, so that left him two weeks to do a month worth of essay work while also studying for the biggest test of his life.

Castiel dragged himself to the library, an energy drink in his hand and three more in his lunch box, once all of this was over he would really need to start taking care of himself, but Castiel tried not to think about that, it would only upset him, thinking about relaxing and sleeping _oh god sleeping_. The library was usually empty, Castiel wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not, he hoped everyone was studying at home, as long as they were at least studying, he wouldn't be surprised if they weren't, the library was usually empty, so Castiel was surprised when he saw Ruby Cassidy and Dean Winchester sitting in his usual spot, they didn't look to be studying, more flirting, and Castiel tried to remember if they had been dating or if popular people were just always like that. As he advanced towards them, he noticed how frustrated Dean looked, Castiel had spent enough time staring at the other boy to know that the smile etched on his face was fake, and when Ruby turned away he looked distressed. Castiel wondered why, but he knew it was none of his business, _besides_ , he thought _you don't have time for gossip, you have work to do, a whole lot of work._

Castiel decided to sit as far away from the pair as possible, he convinced himself it was because he would be distracted by they're talking and not because of his long term crush on Dean Winchester.

Castiel tried not to pay attention, but he could hear Ruby get agitated, she asked Dean about leaving at least once every ten minutes, and Dean would tell her he needed to study, and  that she could leave if she wanted, and just before Castiel took his first five minute break she did.

Dean sighed obviously annoyed, he rubbed his temples with his forefingers, Castiel could hear him curse under his breath, short repetitive breaths that you wouldn't have noticed unless you were paying close attention. Castiel thought about getting back to work, his five minutes just about up, he took a gulp of his energy drink, still looking at Dean, still trying to convince himself to leave the guy alone, he can study by himself. Castiel's morals were strong, way to strong for his own good, he always had to do the right thing, he tried to compromise with the angel on his shoulder _I'll give him some of my notes, **no Cas** , I'll give him the link to some helpful websites, **come on Cas...**_  and it went on until Castiel ran out of ideas, and he sighed to himself, picked up his stuff and dumped them (and himself) beside Dean. Dean looked shocked, Castiel wondered if Dean had even realised he had been here for the past forty minutes.

"Hello Dean" Castiel said after a moment, breaking the silence between them.

"Castiel? What are you doing here?" Dean asked, mouth opening closing still, Castiel sighed.

"The libraries a public place Dean" Castiel replied, he tilted his head slightly in confusion.

"No I... I mean obviously you're here to study but.. why are you sitting beside me?" Dean asked, eyes squinting, Castiel never been this close to Dean before, he could see his own reflection in Dean's pupils.

"You need help studying, I'm going to help you study" Castiel answered, like it was obvious... wasn't it obvious? "You looked like you needed help" He added

"Oh.. Well you're not wrong, but why?" Dean said, he looked better now, Castiel could tell under his almost emotionless mask Dean was more relaxed.

"Because, I'm too nice for my own good, can we start? I'm behind schedule" Castiel said, Dean nodded.

They studied for almost the whole day, despite Dean's protests, though Castiel had given in a bit at times, though Castiel knew Dean was content with his situation, and when they took the hour break at half one they chatted about stupid things, it was the first time in weeks that Castiel had relaxed and he loosened up a bit, when they started working again, Dean, with a stomach full of Castiel's energy drink, worked better, they practised German together, Castiel asked Dean about his English essay.

"I wrote about myself, about my family, some stories I remember from when I was a kid, I probably wont get much for it but I don't really care, I don't think the teacher loved it" Dean had already told Castiel about his family - his mom, his dad, his little brother Sam, and his uncle Bobby. Castiel wanted to know more, he wished he had the essay himself, he would appreciate it so much more than the examiner.

"What did you write about?" Dean asked Castiel.

"I'm writing a murder story... It's pretty terrible" Castiel said "I don't know where I'm going with it.

"Writing? As in present tense" Dean asked, eyes wide, he had big eyes, _big green eyes._

"I got an extension, but I'm not sure if I'll get it done nonetheless" Castiel's head throbbed just thinking about it.

"Can I read it" Dean said suddenly, Castiel looked up at him, studying his face.

"You want to?" Castiel titled his head, eyes half closed, bewildered.

"Totally, I can help you finish it" Dean replied happily, excited at the prospect of anything but studying, Castiel decided Dean deserved a break, why not let Dean read it now, if he thought it sucked at least Castiel had time to correct it.

"It's at home, 5 minute walk?" Castiel told him,

"Let's go." Dean had already grabbed his coat, shrugging it on and he started gathering his things, his jacket was leather, well worn as was everything he owned, Castiel wondered if Dean had an older brother he hadn't told Castiel about who gave him all his hand-me-downs.

They left the library together, talking as the walked, Castiel filled Dean on the basic plot, he had fifteen pages written and at least fifteen more to go. Dean turned left abruptly as they got outside, it was freezing, dark again, Castiel wished he had a well-worn leather jacket. He followed Dean to his car.

"It's not that long a walk, Dean" Castiel told him when he saw the car.

"I'm not leaving my baby unattended" Dean said defensively.

"You have a baby?" Cas asked, confused, Dean had a little brother Sam, but he was 13 and Dean had mentioned no one younger in his life, perhaps it was a pet name for a girlfriend...

"No doofus, the car, '67 Chevy impala, better than any kid" Dean said, stroking the roof of the muscle car. Castiel wondered if a '67 Chevy Impala' a good thing, he concluded it must be, because Dean seemed very proud of it... were old cars better than new cars? Even though they lack the new renovations, perhaps cars were like wine...

Dean opened the door for Castiel before going around the front and getting in himself, Castiel noted there was no seatbelts, which he didn't like, Dean noticed. "Calm down Cas, it's a two minute ride" Dean smiled, _Cas,_ he'd been called that before, never by Dean; Castiel decided he liked it best when Dean said it.

He sat back in the seat, directed Dean to his house with his hands squeezing the seat tightly. He got out himself when the car stopped, Dean would have opened the door for him, which would have made him gush, which he didn't need, and it was faster anyway, he got his keys out of his front pocket and opened the front door of his house, it was empty, his family were all having lives, how fun it must be to be finished school. He waited until Dean was inside and closed the door, he led Dean to his bedroom, trying to remember what state it was in.

It was a kip, Cas threw a few clothes that had been strewn on the floor in the laundry basket before Dean was fully in the door, he straightened the blankets on his bed before grabbing his laptop, Dean was looking around his room curiously, Cas tried to remember if there was anything particularly embarrassing in eye shot. Castiel opened up his word file, suddenly not excited about Dean seeing his work.

Dean read quickly, which was good, because Castiel was anxious about his opinion the whole time, he read the entire thing in less than twenty minutes, looked up at Cas, and smiled.

"This is so good I think I might hate you" Dean said, Cas blushed, looking down.

"Can I say one thing? It's not critical-well a bit but not really" Dean said anxiously, Cas raised an eyebrow, half-smiling.

"Go on."

"Well it's awesome, really awesome, but you could make it even more awesome, at least in my opinion, like the guy, Jensen right, he said he didn't understand the murder, but you never gave the full details of it, only that a girl was murdered in her home and it didn't make sense to the investigators" Dean was talking fast, obviously excited

"so right, here's what would be cool - though I could say you don't need to - obviously - the girl wasn't murdered by a human, it was like a monster or something - some weird mythical creature, so Jensen, he's going through the whole thing in his head-" Dean was so enthusiastic; Cas thought Dean was cute when he was so enthusiastic; Cas also thought he should hit himself later for thinking that Dean was cute.

"-and like he realises some weird stuff so he googles it and a load of monster shit comes up and so at first he doesn't believe it and then another person is killed and so he decides to try and so he learns how to kill it and becomes like a monster hunter - like Buffy!"

Cas laughed, he had to "It's your idea, so... if you help me with it..." Dean's face lit up.

"why aren't we writing this already" Dean said, sliding over on Castiel's bed so Cas could sit down, Dean pulled the laptop on to his lap, legs crossed, he bit his lip, scrunched up his face, and started typing.

"So right, we could start him going over the murder..." Dean said, glancing at Cas before looking back at the laptop.

***

They typed all night, switching roles when one of their hands got too tired, and drinking nearly all of Castiel's energy drink supply. They wrote over twenty pages in the end, they read over all the work, changed a few things and by 5 a.m. they were finished.

"You do realise you're getting no credit for this Dean?" Cas asked, apologetic.

"I know. It was fun nonetheless, and now we're even... as long as you continue to help me study" Dean laughed.

"Of course" Cas smiled.

"Good" Dean smiled back.

Castiel let Dean sleep until 7:30; two and a half hours was better than nothing, when he woke him, handing him some coffee and spare clothes that barely fit him, Dean was not nearly as irritated and grumpy as he should have been.

Dean left before eight to get ready for school. Castiel wondered how Dean would act around his friends if Cas were to talk to him. Would he ignore him? Castiel couldn't see Dean do that... but would he really be friendly?

Castiel got ready for school, knowing (and trying to forget) that this would be his last proper Monday in high school. He left his house at half eight, it was cold out, colder than yesterday, when clouds had blanketed the town and kept the small amount of warmth in. Castiel could see his breath, opaque in front of him as he walked.

Dean was already in school when Cas got there, he looked terrible, more so than Cas had noticed that morning. Dark circles were under his eyes and he looked withdrawn and sick, pale and messy. Castiel hoped he didn't look in a mirror any time today, knowing he probably looked even worse.

When Dean saw him, he waved and smiled, Cas grinned, warmth circulating around his body. Dean ambled over to him, still smiling.

"Hey Cas, ready to hand over our masterpiece?" He joked.

"I'll tell you how it goes when he finishes correcting it, not that it matters, even if I get a zero there's not really ant time to fix it before the exams"

"Yeah I think he gave me like twenty five or something, I wasn't bothered to fix it" Dean shrugged.

"Out of a hundred or out of thirty?" Cas asked, wide eyed, Dean had wholly talked down his story to the point where Castiel had been surprised that Dean did such a good job on their essay. Dean shrugged again. There was no way Dean had gotten twenty five percent, and he knew Mr.Collins had corrected the tests out of thirty, but he wanted to be sure"

"Come with me when I hand up 'our masterpiece' and ask Mr.Collins" Cas said, nodding his head in the direction of the classroom.

"Now?" Dean asked.

"We have time" Cas replied, looking at his watch.

They walked to the English class together. Castiel handed in the essay and Dean asked about his grade.

"So turns out I got 25/30" Dean reddened.

"After last night I'm not surprised" Castiel mocked, a smug grin on his face.

***

They agreed to meet up at lunch and plan out their study schedule, Cas told his friend not to wait up and went in search for Dean, he found him at the popular table, Cas was hesitant about going over but Dean saw him before he had to.

"Hey!" Dean yelled, waving, he got up and jogged towards Castiel, pulling him into a hug.

"Oh-uh" Cas thought he had malfunctioned for a split second, before realising that Dean Winchester was actually hugging him.

"Calm down there Cassy" Dean mocked, moving away but keeping his hands on Cas' shoulders.

"That's not even close to my name" Castiel said, one eyebrow raised.

"Just a joke, Cas-tee-el" Dean said, sticking his tongue out.

"Cas is fine Dean" _Cas is still being touched by you, Dean._

"Dean is fine too, great in fact, though Dean may have drank way too much coffee though" Dean laughed and then added "and Cas has no sense of humour" when he saw Castiel's face.

"Right, so should we get started?" Cas asked.

"Sure." Dean dropped his arms.

They walked to one of the empty benches in the courtyard, sat down and spent the lunch writing up a schedule which was, unfortunately for Cas, a lot less harsh than his original.

Cas had never been so excited about studying.

***

"We need a break, Cas!" Dean moaned.

"We had a break 15 minutes ago"

"Okay fine, I need a break!" Dean said, his head hitting Castiel's pillow as he fell back onto the bed.

Cas knew how weak he was, especially when it came to Dean, so he wasn't surprised at himself for saying "Fine, twenty minutes." when he saw the puppy-dog look on Dean's face. Castiel lay back beside Dean, who now had his eyes closed, he looked so sleepy, Castiel didn't want to find it cute.

"I can feel you staring at me" Dean said, opening one eye and smirking.

"What... no I was just..." Cas blushed, looking away.

"Not that I care Cas, I was just messing around" Dean replied, giving Cas a toothy grin. "I know I'm irresistible"

"That wasn't why I was sta-looking at you"

"Oh yeah" Dean looked way to cocky for his own good, Cas really wanted to kiss him.

"Yeah"

"Then why were you 'looking' at me"

"Because you're just so darn ugly" Castiel replied, sticking out his tongue. Dean scoffed.

"Thanks"

"You're welcome" Cas shrugged.

"And here I was, about to tell you how attractive you are" Dean feigned grief, he pulled himself up so he was leaning against the wall, Castiel mimicked him.

"That's okay, I already knew" Cas replied, Dean chuckled. "We should get back to work soon though..." Cas said, feeling anxious.

"Few more minutes" Dean was close, closer than usual, Cas could see his reflection Dean's eyes.

"Fine" Castiel said quietly, but he knew Dan had heard. Castiel was sure Dean had glanced down at his lips for a split second, he could Dean's breath on his skin as he leaned in slightly.

Then Dean kissed him.

The kiss was short, Cas thought it was anyway, Dean's lips had only just touched his and he was pulling away, but Castiel's brains wasn't working very well, besides when his mind was screaming incandescent sentences that mainly sounded like  _Dean is kissing me, Dean has kissed me, that was Dean, who just kissed me._

Dean's eyes were wide in horror when he pulled away.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't-" Dean babbled, his fingers running through his hair, Cas felt his stomach churn in disappointment.

 "It's fine Dean... It's okay" Cas replied, feeling numb.

"I'm so sorry, I've got to go, I-I really am sorry" and then he was gone. His books still strewn around Cas' bed and his worn leather jacket hanging on Cas' desk Chair.


	2. Middles

Castiel stared at the worn leather jacket.

He held it up in his admirably, it was big, too big for Dean even, but Dean still managed to wear it well, looking endearing and mature despite the ill-fitting attire. Castiel was sure that if it was worn by anyone else, it would look ridiculous, and if that was not a testament to Dean's perfection, Cas wasn't sure what was. Though you could also argue that Castiel's opinions were not exactly unbiased when it came to Dean Winchester, and of course Dean could _never_ look ridiculous. 

Castiel contemplated his options, the coat still tightly gripped in his palms. He had thought about the miracle kiss for almost an hour, etching out every moment of Dean's stay (and departure) and trying to understand what exactly was going on, and Cas was too tired and too shocked to formulate a plan of action.

They both had school tomorrow, and homework (which Dean had also left at Castiel's house) so Cas knew Dean would have to have his things today, and soon, so Cas couldn't give them to one of Dean's friends, he would have to face Dean himself, despite the almost irremediable urge to ship the things to him and hide in his room for a few weeks. Castiel would not let Dean get in trouble because of him, so, while still very hesitant, he picked up Dean's things and headed to his doom.

Castiel firstly thanked his excellent memory, for he had never actually been in Dean's house, they usually studied in the library or at Cas', but Dean had pointed out his home during a quiet car ride from school to the library the week prior, and Castiel thankfully remembered the location.

The walk there was neither short nor long, and it took Castiel about ten minutes to hobble to the house, but time seemed incredibly swift, and in what felt like a flash, Castiel stood in front of the large detached home.

Dean's house wasn't huge, but it was bigger than Castiel's, with a small front porch and a well kept lawn it looked like an average american house, welcoming and serene. 

To Castiel, it looked like the pathway to damnation.

His heart was thudding heavily in his chest, and Cas could hear the quick beats loudly in his ears, he wasn't sure exactly what to say to the other man, or even if he would stay in front of Dean long enough for a chat, but Castiel refused to relent.

Again, Castiel cursed his good morals.

Cas marched down the thin pathway to the house, climbed the steps to the front door and, while still in a stride, pressed his index finger firmly on the doorbell.

It was only after the high pitched noise rung in his ears did Castiel's panic come back to him. 

When the door opened a few moments later, Castiel's heart made a painful lurch upwards, but instead of the snarky man he was used to, a lanky boy with shaggy hair and a welcoming smile answered the door. Castiel knew almost immediately who it was, Dean had described his younger brother more than enough for Cas to recognise the boy. Sam Winchester spoke before Cas had opened his mouth.

"Castiel?" he asked warmly, Cas, slightly taken aback by Sam knowing his name took a moment to answer.

"Uhh..Yes, sorry, yes I'm Castiel Novak, and you must be Sam" Sam nodded at that "I just came to return Dean's books and his-"

"-Jacket! Yes, thank God! Dad woulda' killed him if he found out he forget it somewhere" Sam was beaming, and Castiel instantly understood why Dean was so fond of his brother, he practically radiated kindness. "He's not exactly in a great mood right now, d'you know anything about that?"

"Yes, sorry, we had a small dispute, and Dean sadly left in a temper" Cas replied guiltily, he rubbed that back of his neck, where he felt a blush creeping up, he hated lying to the kid.

"Are you mad at him? Dean's a stubborn jerk, he'll be up in his wrong for days and he won't apologise, not matter how at fault he is"

"I'm not mad... a little upset I guess, but the argument had been more of a 'heat of the moment' thing than anything else, once it was over I realised both he and I had gotten a little too... passionate" He had to use that word didn't he.

"Well if you're not mad, and if its okay with you, could you maybe go talk to him? 'Cause like I don't want him mopping around the place all week"

 _Shit_. 

Of course Cas had gotten himself into this, why didn't he just drop of the stuff and leave, if he said no now, after telling Sam he wasn't mad, he would look suspicious, which Castiel didn't think Dean would appreciate.

"Yeah-it's okay, I'll talk to him"

Yup. Cast was definitely way to nice for his own good.

 He followed Sam up the stairs, an anxious energy seeping through him, a knot trying in his stomach. Sam left him at the top of the stairs, pointing to the first door, smiling and then returning to the safety of downstairs.

Castiel's eyes shifted to the wooden door of Dean's bedroom, and he could imagine Dean inside, pacing across the floor, leaning against the wall, hands tangled in his hair, Cas' wasn't sure why he pictured these things, but it made him feel slightly better, like Dean wasn't just a large, looming being, but instead, a normal man, with a pretty similar problem.

Castiel rapped twice on the door, and he waited only a short moment before the door flew open. Dean's hand grabbing Castiel's shirt and pulling him in.

He held tightly onto Cas' collar until the door was shut, and when Dean let go, Castiel attempted to pat down the newly made creases on his shirt, it was only when it looked adequate that he looked up at the other man, and when he saw the look on the Dean's face, Castiel's hand froze in place, resting on his chest before it fell to his side, he stepped towards Dean, Dean stepped back.

"Listen, Dean, about today...." Castiel didn't continue, wasn't sure how to continue.

"I'm sorry" Dean shot out "I didn't mean.. I didn't mean it. I'm not like that..." Dean was fumbling with his fingers, pulling and twisting his thumb with great concentration, intently not looking at the smaller man and Cas tried to reach out to him, and Dean much have saw the flash of movement in his peripheral vision because he took another step backwards, hit the edge of the bed, and flopped down, hand combing through his hair as he let out a deep sigh. He kept his head down as Castiel sat beside him, Either out of obliviousness or resignation he didn't move away. Dean stared at his knees, and Cas stared at Dean, who opened his mouth to speak but closed it again a moment later.

After a couple of minutes of silence with no end in sight on Dean's end, Cas spoke.

"I don't think you should be sorry" Dean eyes shot up at him in shock. "and I wont forgive you because there's nothing to forgive, there's nothing wrong with you and I think that thinking that there is is the offensive bit"

"That's not what everyone else thinks" Dean replied, letting out a short laugh.

"Everyone else is an assbutt" This time Dean laugh was more genuine.

"Cas" Dean began, and Castiel heard the break in his voice. He stopped for a moment to collect himself before continuing "I like you.. I like you a lot, and I'm afraid of what people will think, but I still really like you and I'm not going to lie to myself any more, the goddamn town has turned me into something I don't wanna be, but until I have an escape plan, I can't tell anyone else what I told you" Castiel thought, and part of him was extremely happy, the other part less so.

"I guess... okay, I can do that, I like you too" Castiel mumbled to Dean, and Dean's eyes lit up.

They kissed again, in the safety of Dean's bedroom, and Castiel tried to congratulate himself, tried to be ecstatic that him and Dean Winchester were a thing.

But the pit of his stomach,  He knew that he wasn't sure of what he'd agreed to.


	3. Ends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The resolution... two years later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it's been almost two years.  
> I have no excuse.  
> I finished school, started college and today I clicked log in for the first time in over a year, and I thought for old times sake I would reread the fic I wrote for fun when I was 16 (18 now woop woop) I got to the end and I was like "fuck I need to find out what happens next" and then I remembered I had to write it, which I hadn't done, and I felt really bad so I decided right now at 12 at night I'm finishing what I started, even if it sucks. Sorry in advance.

FIRST DRAFT WILL BE EDITED SOON SORRY FOR TYPOS AND BAD WRITING.

Castiel left Dean's house a little later, feeling both happy and disappointed, his stomach was doing flips, making him feel nauseous and all he wanted was some sleep.

He walked in contemplative silence, on the one hand, he was dating Dean Winchester, on the other, only he and Dean could know, and he couldn't help but feel like Dean was ashamed of hand number one.

Cas got home and finished his homework, he opted to leave the studying for the day, it had been a long one. He crawled into bed, wondering how to act in front of Dean tomorrow. 

He decided to stay optimistic, he was dating a guy he had had a crush on for ages, and here he was moping about because he couldn't show Dean off, he was being idiotic.

"Cas, this is my girlfriend, Lisa, Lisa this is my friend Castiel."

_shit._

"Er..Hi Lisa" Castiel tried, he really wanted to get as far away from this conversation as possible.

"Hi Cas! So great to meet you!" Lisa smiled, sticking her hand out for him to shake, which he did, albeit half heartedly. 

"Well I have to go, got to go to my locker before class" Cas said before smiling and turning to walk towards his lockers, he was a couple of steps away from the whole awkward mess when he heard Dean call him. Cas cursed under his breath. He continued walking as Dean caught up.

"So look I know the whole Lisa Braeden being my girlfriend thing is not exactly ideal, I asked her out last night after you left, I just think it's better y'know? So that there's no suspicion, my friends have already started mocking me about being friends with you so I thought it would be for the best"

"Your life." Cas mumbled, opening his locker and adamantly looking anywhere but at Dean.

"So your mad" Dean sighed.

"Just a smidge" Cas said, sarcasm oozing out of every syllable.

"You said you were cool with this, with us being..."

"In the closet?" Cas supplied

"Yeah."

"Well I lied... or I was wrong, I don't know, but I do know I'm not okay with this"

"Listen Cas-" Dean started 

"-I'm late for class" Cas interrupted, closing his locker and striding towards his classroom. 

"Wait! C'mon Cas if you wanna go out this is for the best"

"Then maybe I don't want to go out"

"You don't?"

"I don't."

"oh."

Castiel turned to look at Dean, whose head was down, looking at his shoes and Cas could help but feel bad, he was the one who said it was okay, and now he was telling Dean less than twenty four hours later that he was wrong, he had gotten Dean's hopes up for nothing, but he stuck by what he had said, even if it made him sick to his core. 

He turned and walked into class, closing the door behind him.

***

Dean missed his classes that day, he emptied the contents of his bag into his locker, got his keys from his pocket and drove out of the school car park, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. 

He wanted to drive home, but he couldn't be caught skipping class, so he ate at a local dinner and bought a few things in the town before running out of ideas for what to do, he just couldn't go back to class.

He went to the library, feeling nostalgic for something that had occurred a few weeks ago, he grabbed a book, sat at the back and pretended to read, but instead he closed his eyes and let his mind wander, thinking about anything but Castiel.

*** 

Castiel was eating with his friends, he hadn't said much the whole day, and it was obvious that everyone had noticed, he shrugged off the concerned questions, answering with "fine." or "just tired." his friends soon stopped asking.

Cas looked up from his sandwich when he saw a soft shadow dim his area of the lunch table, Lisa was standing nervously beside him.

"Can I help you Lisa?" He asked, genuinely curious.

"I was wondering if you've seen Dean around, he was here this morning as you know, I haven't seen him since he ran off after you." Lisa looked worried, Castiel had noticed Deans absence in class, he guessed he hadn't either went home early to avoid him or skipped class with his friends.

"What about his other friends?"

"No ones seen him, he's not answering his phone and I even went to check his house, no ones home"

"I'm sorry, I have no idea but I'll contact you if I find him" Cas was growing more interested in Deans whereabouts as the conversation progressed.

"Did you say anything to him" Lisa blurted out "or.. or did anything seem wrong when you were talking to him this morning"

"No" Cas lied.

***

After class school ended Cas headed for the library to do his homework and some study. He sat in his usual seat when he noticed a familiar body near the back, asleep with a book over his head. He walked over, with no idea of what to say or do"

"Tired?" Cas asked, Dean jumped awake, knocking the book to the floor. "You know everyone is looking for you"

"What time is it"

"Four. You should call your girlfriend, she's worried."

"thanks." The conversation felt lifeless, Neither boy knew what to say.

"Sorry." Cas said finally

"Whe are you sorry? I'm sorry." Dean replied, still hazy with sleep.

"I should have told you straight out how I felt"

"How do you feel"

"I feel like your ashamed of me, of being with me."

"that's not it at all, I never meant to make you feel like that"

"Not you fault, I get it."

"I don't"

"you're afraid of what others will think, because your afraid of being gay"

"bi..."

"to-may-to to-mah-to"

"I'm afraid my friends won't want to be friends anymore, I'm afraid my parents will hate me"

"That's fair, but they were never your friends if liking dudes makes them dislike you"

"True, still scary"

"Always is.

"What did your family say?"

Cas smiled "I know"

"Seriously, that was it? Mom I'm gay. No shit." Dean laughed.

"It probably won't be as bad as you think it will, friends first, at least you still have a home if they reject you" 

"friends first... okay"

"But don't do it if you don't want to, do it when you're ready"

"That's what my mom said about sex" Dean joked.

"Glad you're feeling better"

"Lets go then."

"where?"

"to break up with Lisa and come out to my friends, and then possibly go on a date with a really awesome guy who will give me time when it comes to coming out to my parents?" Dean smiled

"Sounds like a plan."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's past one am but the first draft is done! I'll fix it up in the morning but I just needed to finish this cliche cheesy fic, sorry about the delay


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